I am writing this from a luxury coach heading down the A1 at the start of a week I am still dreading even as it gets started. Anticipation of this coming period has been a mental roadblock making it very difficult to focus for a while now and brought firmly into focus following the death of a close friends wife.Within a 6 day period my bruised and battered heart will have to endure a funeral, the first anniversary of losing my brother and my wedding anniversary. Brutal.

So as traffic grinds slowly on the A1 with signs flashing to tell us that the M1 is closed it at least gives me some head space to prepare with minimal distraction. Passing the site of the former Ferrybridge Power Station trigger a whole host of very relevant memories. Keith and I first met while working at Ferrybridge and still joke about many of the SSE-isms, now he is the one dealing with the raw pain of loss and my own experiences can at least provide a basis for supporting him through it.

While working at Ferrybridge I frequently stayed with Dave and his family in South Milford so those memories also ring out loud as we pass. They were precious times for me sharing a little of their lives and snatching a few midweek pints with arkid. This time gave me a nice insight into the ‘normal’ stuff of family life and particularly how naturally close he was with George and Gracie, sitting in the kitchen sharing a meal and talking through the events of the day. Looking back I wish I had stayed over more often and certainly wish we had talked a lot more while sneaking out for a pint, there was clearly a lot going on in that headteachers head that it would’ve been nice to understand better.

Ferrybridge was always the first/last milestone on journeys between home in Durham and wherever I was working at the time. In the car alone it meant either nearly home or time to think about stopping for a coffee. If Jackki was in the car I could bore with another milepost power station description along the journey. I am sure she knew her Ferrybridge from her Drax, Cottam, West Burton etc quite well.

In amongst all the bittersweet milestones this week I intend to join some friends for a ride out on the new motorbike. I am really looking forward to getting off road, out of my comfort zone and just doing something for myself. I feel I have spent a lot of time just feeling sorry for myself this last year, indulgently sharing my thoughts on here but not actually doing very much. Ahead I need to grab a firm hold of life and start to bounce back, hopefully my blog will evolve to one that makes people laugh a bit more and cry a bit less, a bit more Adi.

Thanks for tuning in x

One thought on “Wildflowers

  1. The heartache goes on but the memories survive, we are all learning to live again but it’s so different at times. Be carefully on that bike 🚴 your gran will be having kittens up there 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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