1994

Those paying attention to these posts will recall that work commitments meant that I had failed to attend all but one of the ante-natal classes. When you also consider the fact that Pendlebury High School had decided back in 1983, that the kids in the ‘clever’ streams did not need to have Sex Education as part of their humanities curriculum then you could rightly say I was very badly prepared for that long day and night in the labour ward. Jackki was high on drugs the entire time and the whole scene was like something from a horror movie from where I was sitting, albeit one with a very happy ending. Who even knew the word episiotomy, never mind watching one! Abigail arrived in the early morning hours after a lengthy 20+ hour labour, the doctors were a little worried about her so she was whisked off to the special care unit initially which meant it was Daddy who gave her a first feed while Mummy was being stitched up and resting.

The whole day and night were terrifying and the emotions of the whole thing didn’t really hit me until I returned to the hospital later in the day to see Abigail back on the ward with a much recovered and newly confident Jackki being Mummy. As I held that little bundle and she opened her eyes to look back at me I was just overwhelmed with love and a feeling of such responsibility, I cried then and I am crying now remembering the moment.

Jackki and Abigail were in the hospital for almost a week, which was pretty normal back then and they came home to a warm welcome from so many family and friends. We quickly settled into a routine and were, like most first time parents, delusional in our ideas that life would carry on mostly as it had before, just with a baby along for the ride. A very young Abigail was whisked around the country over her first few weeks and months with multiple visits to family in Scarborough, Manchester and Morecambe where she was cuddled and loved by everyone.

It is hard to pick out specific memories from those early months but I do remember inviting all our Sherburn Hill friends round to watch a film and have a drink one night since obviously we couldn’t head out to the pub with them all just yet. A very sleep deprived Jackki and I must have nodded off with a house full of guests and all I remember is waking up to an empty house where they had all quietly crept out and locked the door behind them. We both took to being parents easily and were devoted to Abi and watching her develop, those first few months are hard work for all parents but once a cheeky little person starts to emerge we had a blast going out for walks with the dog, sometimes with the pram, sometimes not but I know for sure that Abi spent a lot of time in that little car seat on trips out.

My time on site in Southampton was over and I spent most of the year working from the office to make sure I was home at night and weekends. I continued to help with the scouts and that again provided a key part of our summer holidays with Jackki, Abi and Duke all joining the annual camp, this time in Middleham, Yorkshire including a trip on the NY Moors railway and the usual delights of camping without electricity or running water. Washing and sterilising baby bottles on a gas stove was a memory shared many times and one also shared with Gez & Nikki who, having just added young Cameron to their family, joined us so that Marc could experience something of the kind of crazy scout camp his Dad and I had enjoyed as kids.

We celebrated our first wedding anniversary with an overnight trip to Appleby Manor hotel and left Dave & Sarah at home looking after Abigail and Duke, they must have been terrified but I don’t recall anyone thinking this to be anything out of the ordinary. We had a lovely meal and spent loads of time in the swimming pool and sauna and since hotel stays were very much a novelty for us together, we certainly made the most of our time alone.

Jackki went back to work just before the summer holidays to make sure she got paid for the summer. This meant that Abi was left in the safe keeping of our first child minder, Val, for a few days in July before that kicked in as the standard routine from September. This set a pattern for quite a few years to come with us sharing the drop off and pick up duties as fairly as we could and then working hard to pay the childcare fees on top of everything else.

There was an upcoming ‘opportunity’ at work for me to spend some time commissioning a control system in Oman, something I was keen to do professionally and also aware it would give us a chance to feed the bank manager. The potential price however included the potential need to be out there before Christmas which would also mean missing Abi’s first birthday. We had discussed this at length and reluctantly accepted this was still a viable sacrifice, thankfully the trip was eventually delayed meaning we could enjoy Christmas and birthdays before thinking about it further.

We had been half on the look out for a bigger house amongst all the other things during the year and a potential ‘swap’ deal presented itself with some friends on the next street in the second half of the year. They were splitting up and needed a smaller place, we were looking for extra space but didn’t want to move away so it was a perfect option that avoided a load of estate agent fees. The move to Pinders Way was all ahead of us to look forward to and would be completed sometime in the new year, leaving us free to enjoy Christmas. The house was a beautiful 3-bed detached with a nicely finished terraced garden making the most of the ample slopes available in Sherburn Hill, Jackki was very excited about having more space.

We did Christmas morning at home and then scuttled off to Scarborough to join Mum, Dad, Dave, Gran and Grandad for more presents and dinner. I have no recollection of what must have been the total chaos with not enough room for people to sleep and can only remember the sheer joy we all had together. It’s possible that my Dad drove to Morecambe and back on the day to bring Gran and Grandad over which was the kind of thing he would do without thinking twice. Abi was almost walking and was quite mobile with the aid of her car/walker toy even while wearing fluffy little girl dresses as she proudly marched/drove up and down the lounge. We then did the visiting rounds back in Manchester and were back home to celebrate Jackki’s birthday and see in the new year, surely 1995 would be a slower year with slightly less going on…….