I had a really strange dream last weekend that was followed by waking up just ridiculously happy. That is an oddly self indulgent way to start a blog post but the two things have been bouncing around my head ever since and have coloured my thoughts in numerous interactions with friends, family and colleagues all week so I decided to have a go at capturing something of the thoughts to see if there is anything tangible or interesting to read.

The dream is hard to remember in detail after a few days so it is unlikely I can paint a picture of just how vivid it all was but I will try. I was somehow drawn into a puzzle challenge with a sequence of lights on a panel within a room, it was seemingly difficult and had some form of warning relating to it’s tricky nature but I tried it anyway. I found it very easy initially but the game seemed to then require more and more effort with each level and there was a growing sense of jeopardy relating to failure. I don’t actually remember anything more specific or what happened when or if, I failed to complete a level but I do remember repeating the cycle again and again, never quite reaching the end. At some point in the dream I gained a realisation that I was being tricked into repeating all this by a malicious AI of some kind and I had clearly been drawn into some kind of trap and was being held obliviously captive. There followed a Matrix style moment of awareness that actually everyone had been similarly trapped and the repeating cycle had been going on for decades with the game/puzzle preventing anyone from even noticing. Then I actually woke up.

Reading that all back in my head as I write, I don’t think it needs much dream science to work out what it means! Caught in an endless cycle of seemingly important tasks without noticing that life is passing you by, this is quite possibly my biggest fear! I can remember a childhood dream/nightmare with a similar fear represented by life being a rolled up carpet of unknown length, the key being to have the ability to direct which way and how fast it unrolls, losing control of your life carpet was a big fear in those dreams.

The reason for writing this blog though is more about my state of mind when I woke up that morning and how it has given me a renewed focus and outlook. I opened my eyes to see Caroline sleeping peacefully at my side and just felt an overwhelming sense of contentment and happiness. Something deep inside was reminding me that life is all about “now” and finding happiness in the moment is the absolute key, it really is “all about the journey” since the destination kind of takes care of itself!

I am incredibly lucky and at a stage in my life where I have the luxury of easing back the pace without needing to worry about having a roof over my head and food to eat, I will never take that for granted. I see others every day with similar or greater levels of those basic comforts who seem to continue to strive for something more while apparently not happy with the here and now. From my travelling days, and because I live in the real world with my eyes open, I also know a lot of people with a lot less material wealth who find happiness and joy more naturally than many of us ever manage.

I am never really sure where my writing will take me and whether there is a reason or conclusion of some kind. In this case my message is clear, find happiness in your here and now, by all means have goals and ambitions and strive to change your world, but for your own sake please enjoy the journey and make memories on the way. Oh yes, and don’t waste your bloody time scrolling through pointless shit on the internet!