Cheated

I have spent the last 24 years feeling cheated about the loss of my Dad aged only 54. Just as Dave and I were becoming adults ourselves and getting to know and understand something of the man he was and the true significance of what he meant to us, he was gone. I have reflected so often about all the things he has missed and what an amazing grandfather he would have been to our kids. It genuinely feels like he missed seeing the product of all his hard work and what should have been the best years of his life so yes, cheated.

That I sit here writing this 11 days after Dave was snatched from us at the even younger age of only 50 just leaves me utterly bewildered and sad. My beautiful niece and nephew now have to deal with an even worse version of those same feelings and there are so many lives and so many possible futures that now will never happen. Every day there is a part of my brain that stores up little things that I want to share and adds them to a list ready for when we get together, it’s really hard to accept that I wont ever get to share them.

August was going to be a quiet month, we had one thing on the calendar which was a long overdue visit to Lanehead by Dave and Gill for a proper catch up and a few beers in the Baa. That should have been on the Saturday night that has just passed and this time it isn’t just delayed by a few weeks due to busy lives but it will never happen at all. Just simple good times based on 50 years of shared memories and new experiences that just stop abruptly.

More words will follow to celebrate arkid’s life as we prepare for his funeral, but for now, cheated is all there is.

3 thoughts on “Cheated

  1. Hello Adrian. I don’t know you, but I know your mum quite well through dog walking. I was so upset to hear of the passing of your brother David. No family should have to endure the sadness that your family has. It’s so cruel. Rest assured, I am nearby your mum, and I will be there for her if she needs me for anything. She helped to support me in my time of need, and I will gladly do the same for her. No words can easy the sorrow and pain and anger that you will all be feeling, lots of love to you all, and may your David rest in peace xx

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